My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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