Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
