She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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