I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
