____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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