I cockslap morals
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
