sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
