I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
