There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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