I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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