Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
