hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
