I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize