Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
