We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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