he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
