if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
