Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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