what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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