it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
