Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
