I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
