dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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