When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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