So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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