the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
