and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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