rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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