gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
