Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
