fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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