Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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