I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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