you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
