i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
