I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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