Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize