On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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