WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Congratulations! We have a period
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