Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
