Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
