he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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