I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yo dont text me then not text me
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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