The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
