mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize