we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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