Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
