look no pants
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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