I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
