It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
