Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
