Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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