She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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