so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
