If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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