her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We have started to decorate penises.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
