last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
