I accidentally had phone sex last night
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
