It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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