Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
