So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
