You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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