Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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