i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
