ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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