Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
