is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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