your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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