well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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