We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
