I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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