She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize