Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
